Sir Paints-a-lot Swinging Part 1


Sir Paints-a-lot Part One THE DECK

Call me a painting fool, but I do like to paint. No, not water colors or pastels, but things. I like to paint things. Not much about painting things indoors that don't need painting like my better half...more like the outdoors things that live outside 24/7 subjected to the ravages of time and the weather: snow, ice, rain, cold, wind, rain, falling branches, dust, rain, pollen, bird poo and...rain.

That life-sustaining liquid...water has a way of working its way through the many layers of paint to the wood below. Last year after replacing my rear deck board by board, I hired someone to replace the entire deck. I pulled off all the old boards, and the 1100+ nails and he came and put new boards down...that needed painting. I painted (stained) it last year and one coat was insufficient, so this spring I put on coat #2. Then I noticed the roof of the gazebo, in the shade and under a cherry tree, nasty looking. So out comes the power washer, clean her up, and coat of clear on the cedar shakes.

Man Door (Women not apply?)

Next up was the man-door to the garage, newly installed last year (rotten frame), and it needed paint. So down came the door, hand painted the frame, and sprayed the metal door (nice job for an amateur) and back on the garage. Of course I forgot the first rule of taking something apart: separate and maybe even LABEL the screws, so you know where they go. Also missed the second rule. TAKE A PHOTO. When I was ready to reinstall the door, I had lots of screws of varying sizes, but which ones went where? After some in and outs. I got all the screws in the right places.

Twisting your knobs

Next was the doorknobs , the opener and the dead-bolt. I got the dead bolt in okay lining up the screws blind from one side to the next (turn knob inside, lock out). It wasn't until I looked at the door that I realized the door knob was upside down. Why should that matter? Have a look at the tongue, that little protrusion that is flat on one side and curved on the other. That little curve is to facilitate the closing as the catch finds the tip of the curve and allows the tongue to slide into the catch. Why does this sound sexual? With all this talk of tongues and curves and catches. IT'S A DOOR PEOPLE!

It all hinges on....wrong side!

Oh and I also put the hinges on the wrong side of the door. That was a quick fix, six screws out, six screws in times three. Having a drill helped a lot. So the door is painted and installed with no left over screws, and no missing screws, including the one I dropped in the garden and could not find. Found it 24 hours later under the rose bush. And the door closes even better than before. Go figure.


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