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You're Turning Sixty....Eight

Turning Sixty….eight (68!)

You know how you have a small leak and you try to fix it and you make it worse and all of sudden water is pouring all over your kitchen floor? Well you just struck oil. Welcome to a Facebook Obsessive Fan who will take you on! Sixty! HA! I passed that milestone eight (8) years ago, and I am still living life with all my faculties and parts (100% original equipment with one exception- caps and crowns). Like a lot of men (and women) my ego is there, and though I don't expect any of the young women (and not-so-young women) to look at me and go, "Man he's HOT!" I still get looks, and not the looks those West Palm Beach Mar-a-Lago poofs get for their highly plasticized appearances ("OMG did you see those LIPS and you could play the drum solo from Inna Gadda da Vida on those cheeks!"). I have been a music fan of LOUD MUSIC for fifty years, and still can hear the wind rustle in the trees, and my cat purr, and my wife toot when she gets up. I USED to have 40/40 vision, and I still do. In my right eye. Unfortunately after a freak accident with a golf ball (no I didn't get HIT, I tried to open it and it exploded into my eye dumbass style) my left eye is, well fuzzy without corrective lenses. I still drive without them and though I can see the road quite well, can no longer read the gauges. When the police officer asks me, "Do you know how fast you were going?" I say, "Hell no I can barely see the steering wheel much less all those tiny numbers!" I have had colonoscopies. Several. At 50, 55, 60, 65. They got easier every time thanks to improvements of the Purge the night before scoping. Oh you will still find your butt turned into the Hot Water Spigot for several hours, but the concoction you drink to facilitate that is more like 7-Up than pancake batter. My wife and I plan to travel as well now that our little bird flies to WVU this fall. I too thought I would learn to play a musical instrument (sax) and learn to speak a foreign language (Spanish). Then I thought..."Nah. Why now?" So, I wrote three books, blog, volunteer at a local elementary school where I read to a dozen classrooms (Brer Rabbit), and spend way too much time Facebooking. But people LOVE my stories and my political rants. So...There you go

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