It Was Blocking the Sun


It Was Blocking the Sun

So I asked my friends if they needed help at the park handing our eclipse glasses or anything. T.G. texted me "Yes," so we packed up and headed over. There were only 100 pair of glasses, and no one was sure how many folks would show up for them. When the Ranger Bob told me he got a call last week with someone willing to pay $50 for a pair, I knew we were in for it.

The sun was out in full force. Great for sun worshipping, but a bit on the scalding side. The pavilion did offer some shade, and while Ranger Bob suggested that we set up the glasses table at the edge and let the line form outside (?!) T.G. and I decided that with 90 minutes to the 1:00 o'clock distribution time, this might not be the best idea. "Ranger Bob is not used to large crowds," T.G. offered, and I said, "Well I guess it's up to us, the educators who know a little about handling large crowds."

It was 11:45, and within minutes people started to arrive asking where the line for glasses was. We pointed to the table and watched as the line quickly stretched to the back of the pavilion, almost sitting on the D.J.'s laptop. "Maybe we need to start another line?" T.G. asked. "For sure, but lets do it like Disney: Serpentine." So we became line managers highlighting turn points, and heading the lines in both directions at times having to get them to move over to make room for the third, fourth and fifth lines! I counted 90 people, awfully close to the 100. But I was counting kids too. Maybe just adults? We settled on 2 pair per family.

As 1:00 approached there were six lines of 20 or so people in each under the shade of the pavilion, then we were forced to line the rest up outside in the sun. By now the ratio was down to 1 set per family. We had that announced along with the advice not to look into the sun (like President Dumbass) even with sunglasses.

Bob the Ranger stood at the ready and Jessica the lady ranger came over with the bag with the glasses and we figured T.G. would handle the $1.00 charge, and Bob would hand out the glasses and I would do crowd control. Then out of the blue...SHE arrived. Having done absolutely nothing for the last two hours, she set her abundant derriere in front of the table and me asking where the glasses were. "Uh, can I ask who you are?" I asked politely. In what I could only describe as an abrupt tone she replied , "I am the park manager." Then quickly amended that to say, "Well...the park OFFICE manager." Though I was somewhat inclined to suggest she take her prodigious derriere back to her office to do some managing, I merely pointed out to her that we had been standing here for the last two hours managing the lines, and would continue to do so.

All went well with folks moving in their serpentine lines perfectly like dancing snakes passing in front of the table, handing T.G. a $20 dollar bill for a $1.00 pair of glasses. I The Office Manager managing the handing outs, and me managing the, "Please exit this way," pointing to my right so as to keep the lines flowing and not disrupting the serpentine lines to my left. Then the Big Blueberry, all 250 pounds of her stepped up, headed to my left, "Excuse me m'am the exit is this way." BUT I'M GOING THIS WAY!" she insisted, "Uh, the exit is to my right, you need to go out this direction," I implored a little more insistently, while her husband, obviously used to her mule-strong personality, looked at me rather sheepishly. Seeing that I couldn't depend on him to lend a hand I told Big Blue to "Go anywhere you please!" thinking to myself, "Preferably straight to hell you...you...Great Blue WHALE!" But I didn't.


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